October 23, 2013

when life hands you lemon after lemons ... argh!

The ol' saying about lemons is that when life give you lemons, you make lemonade. Well ... I have tried making and even perfected my lemonade recipy but in all honesty, too much lemonade cannot be good for health. This year it seems, life has yet again been rather uncreative and presented me with more lemons and I have come to a point when enough is really quite enough.

Yes, I am standing in a crossroads of lemons hence my blogging silence of late. Things in the office hasn't been peachy too and yup, as you've guessed - it's been quite lemony and curdled.

The thing that annoys the crap out of me in my office life is its "culture" which to a certain degree lacks any kind of respect towards its employees - it's almost abhorrent and no matter how efficient and all Energizer-like Bunny you are in your duties, if you don't conform to their "culture" then there is no way in hell you will ever get that salary increment or the bloody promotion you work so bloody hard for. 
For instance ...

No. I don't have a closet filled with boutique clothing to ensure that I don't re-wear the same set of clothes within a fortnight because let's face the fact - you don't pay me enough to allow me that kind of luxury. Then there's the luxury of time of boutique hopping be it after work or during the weekends. God forbid, I have a family I need to tend to immediately after work and God forbid, my daughter and son outweighs the importance of updating my wardrobe.

No. I'm not skinny enough with long shiny flowing locks and smile at every single person who walks pass me like a loon. Honestly, doesn't life tire you out enough to the point that you have to fake a smile at every Tom, Dick and Mustapha that comes by? I work on datelines, which in my job scope should be spelled "deadline". Consider yourself fortunate that I don't chomp you up and spit you out like camel spew when you decide to come by my cubicle or call to complain about your boss or how much work YOU have when you clearly still have time to chit-chat on the phone about what you had for dinner last night ... for a bloody hour!

No. I don't butter up my words and tell you straight up that you're an arse when you clearly are. I tell my boss that and he appreciates it - heck, he'd tell me I'm an arse when I'm being one and so far our relationship based on extreme and utter honesty has been working out pretty damn well ... until "certain" parties decided to play - in their opinion, God but I think they're more the devil's advocate and a  bunch of idiots.
The irony of it all is that day after day since I started feeling an absolute sense of deep rooted resentment for the people who sign my pay cheques, I have had to prepare reports and presentations which includes phrases of how "... employees are the company's greatest assets and how they place great emphasis in developing their human capital in whom they recognize to play an important role in the future growth and sustainability of the company." Lies. Every single word is a lie.

Yes, I am disgruntled right now ... well, actually for the past week. I've wanted to mow some people here down with a lawnmower, put it on reverse and remow them down again just so I can laugh my evil laugh. Yes, I am very much aware that lawn mowers don't come with a reverse gear either so if anyone would be so incline to sponsor me a road grader, that would do what I have in mind perfectly too.

I'm so sorry if I put a damper on your week ... I just had to rant and in a way to let you know that I'm going to need some time to recover and get back my blogging mojo who has been sulking and hiding under a rock in Timbuktu for over a week now. Actually, it's been there ever since I opened that dastardly envelope the company presents me every year come October.

I hope to drag my mojo back soon in time for Thanksgiving so please do bear with me until then, if you can.