April 26, 2013

it's the parent rap, y'all.

Saw this on Facebook last night and I've probably re-winded and re-played this video a dozen times. So totally true, y'all. I highlighted the parts that I could absolutely relate to in BLUE, like the "second seat-belt". How many of you moms do that too?


Don’t make me count to 1-2-3.
Yeah, it’s the parent rap, y’all.
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down,
But we still know how to rock the hizzle.
I don’t even know what you just said.

We USED TO BE COOL back in the day, back on the block.
Watching PG-13 movies STAYING UP WAY AFTER DARK,.
Then we had a COUPLE SHORTIES and now we’re really flossy, 
Cause now we be rollin’ with our own little posse.
In the MINI VAN or in our little wagon.
Let me throw it to the moms cause the LITTLE ONE IS SAGGIN'.

I used to BLING IT UP; I used to DRESS REAL SHREWD.
Now I ACCESSORIZE WITH FOOD THAT'S ALREADY BEEN CHEWED and that’s all right.
I MAKE THIS DIAPER BAG LOOK GOOD,
When I’m walking through the mall tryin’ to WRANGLE MY BROOD.
My PB & J's will set your world on fire.
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire.
I’m WIPIN' THE DO-DO, KISSIN' THE BOO-BOO'S.
Got them EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD - I see all you do.
USING YOUR FULL NAME so you know I ain’t playin’.
And that’s why all my kiddo’s, they keep sayin’.

Mom, mom - she’s the bomb; ROCKING ALL NIGHT TILL THE BREAK OF DAWN.
Cooking them peas so I’ll grow up strong.
Got my SECOND SEAT BELT IF WE CRASH HEAD ON.
Dad, dad - he’s the man; WORKING REAL HARD TO SUPPORT THE CLAN.
Traded in his Porsche for an OLD SEDAN.
Raisin’ those brows if we get outta hand.

When it comes to Candyland, I’m a stone cold player.
Helping out with the homework, I’m an ALGEBRA SLAYER.
WRESTLE THE CAR SEATS INTO PLACE without spillin’ my mug.
If I tuck you in at night, you’ll be as SNUG AS A BUG.
Then I’m OFF IN THE MORNING, TO MAKE THAT CHEESE.
You may not know this yet, but it DOESN'T GROW ON TREES.
Now mama take it please, what ... uh, take it.

I’m droppin’ TIME-OUT'S like they’re hot ...
POTTY TRAINING all my tots ...
WASHIN' ALL THE PANS AND POTS ...
TYIN' LITTLE SHOES IN KNOTS ...
Giving knowledge to your brain,
Like “if your friend jumped off a train you don’t have to do the same”.
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I’m CLEANIN' EVERY SPILL, cuttin’ coupons like a vil,
If you need parental skill now you know we are for real!
You don’t think our rhymes are ill, boy?
Then YOU'RE GROUNDED for a mil!

Mom, mom - she’s legit; MAKING US CHILL when we pitch a fit.
Telling us to SHARE and NEVER TO HIT.
If you can’t say something nice PUT A SOCK INTO IT.
Dad, dad, he’s the guy; never gets tired of playing “I Spy”.
The constant barrage of kids asking “WHY?!”.
And he always pretends he needs another tie.

You know money DOESN'T GROW ON TREES.
Why buy the cow if the milk is free?
This won’t hurt you as much as it hurts me ...
IF YOU WANT DESSERT, EAT ANOTHER VEGE.
CLOSE THAT DOOR, you weren't born in a stable.
SIT UP STRAIGHT and kiss your Aunt Mable.
CLOSE YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU CHEW.
Get your elbows off the table.
Mom and dad of the year ... check it - that’s the label.

It’s the parent rap, y’all.
And it’s apparent ... we’re great parents
MOM AND DADDY IN THE HOUSE.
Mom and daddy own the house.
MOM AND DADDY NEED TO CLEAN THE HOUSE …

Keep your hands to yourself, boy.
Don’t make me stop this beat, I’ll do it! 
I’ll pull this beat right over!